A friend asked for my opinion on the "when to have kiddos" topic. I was elated someone asked for my opinion--that's one part of my job that I miss; having all these ideas to hash out...
Anyway, I wanted to give careful thought to the question before I responded. Her specific inquiry was whether or not she & her husband should wait 5 years before growing their family, or begin sooner.
Here's my response. Bet your tickled pink to get to a front row seat in my email inbox!
I'm honored you've asked my opinion about the kiddos topic. Loving a child is one of life's grandest privileges. It is overwhelming in so many ways, primarily in that one's heart feels it might crack under the enormous love; it really is a lot.
It is new, old, wonderful, breathtaking, and scary. And it's a lot of work...sort of like running a marathon, with its exhilaration and an end goal, intermingled with diligence and some pain (by pain I really mean the pain you feel when your baby is hurting, or the "pain" of making a tough decision). It is new because each day reveals an adventure. It is old because your child has always been a part of you.
Do I miss sleeping in on Saturdays? Yes, but I love opening all the windows in the house the morning, then cracking open Wilder's door to be immediately smitten by a huge smile. In the next moment I may have to change a stinky diaper, but it's no biggie. Do I miss romantic dates? Yes. We still go on them but not as often; just requires more planning.
Shawn and I waited 5 years, and I'm glad we did. Not because parenthood is "horrible" but because it is at times difficult and you want to have your partner 100% there with you. Sometimes you'll miss when it was just "you two" but then you look at your child and understand that he is the celebration of you and your partner's love. I've always said that Wilder is the culmination of all my right decisions in life. And he is.
I'm just so thrilled that you & "Fabio" may choose to have children. Your life will be richer. You will be tired, stressed and frazzled at times, but those sacrifices are worth it. It's an honor to be such an integral part of someone's life.
And you can say, "look what we made!"
What do you think of my response? To my mommy readers, how would you respond?
It's hard for me to articulate that parenthood should be approached thoughtfully, prayerfully, not because it is this awful thing, but because it is so wonderful. As much as I thought I was semi-prepared for mommy-hood, I wasn't. And that's ok. Approaching the unknown--that's what makes life FUN!
May you be blessed as you nurture your families, whether it's your hubby, Nemo the beta, or a brood of wee ones!
And if you happen to need a bottle of water or "atta-girl" as you're running the marathon course, I'm here for you, ever eager to put in my two cents.