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Jun 25, 2009

Wedding Bell(es)--settle in for a LONG read/gander

I go back & forth on the wedding front. Let me put it delicately. Sometimes I don't like them.

Here's why, partly: mine's over. {now that seems pathetic when I type it out}

It's weird. I show up (after shopping mercilessly, tirelessly in front of brutal dressing room mirrors, just for the perfect ensemb) so, so happy for the new couple, but, then, in my selfishness, wish, just a teensy bit, that I could go back and be the skinny, tan girl in white, the object of every person's adoration.

This weekend I understood something (hold your applause; this does happen on occasion). This above-described feeling is underskirted by something else, okay?

Something deep, deep, deeper.

And that thing is this: weddings are just another reminder that time, silly, relentless, unforgiving time, is passing, flying. And with it, kids I used to babysit will graduate, get married. Childhood pets will go to Animal Heaven. My beautiful son will enter kindergarten (gulp, college too!). I will smear anti-aging creme over my smile lines. I will cry when my baby sister becomes a mother (that is not a hint, Sissy, promise).

Maybe that's why I don't "like" weddings. I feel like I'm permissing Time to carry on. I'm genuinely joyous for the "hurrahs" in others' lives, but want more time to process my own.

I need just a few more moments in each moment.
A little longer.

***
The two weddings last weekend were 3 parts sweet, 2 parts magical, 1 part sobby-teary mess (on my part). Here's a hodge-podge of weekend pics:
And a few of Drew/SG's wedding shots. Their wedding was at a cool art gallery/venue. SG's parents did all the background paintings behind the altar area.
And, my cousin Pandia's:

Isn't her reception veil adorable?
That's Holland, my cousin, who was my flower girl almost six years ago! Thanks for sticking with me in this long, comma-crazy post.

...and they all lived happily ever after.

5 comments:

Kate said...

Oh my gosh! You have put into words my ambivalence towards weddings the last several years....I wondered what was wrong with me!! You have a great perspective on things!! THANKS MINDY!

Kyle said...

Those gray dresses with hot pink shoes are amazing...looks like fun!

Shannon said...

You've captured my thoughts on weddings as well. How'd you do that?

Holly said...

Wow, I LOVE your cousin's wedding! The bridesmaid's pink shoes are AMAZING. :O

Ashli said...

Love your photos and the ensemble.
Fabulous as always!
It's inspiring that you can be a mommy and be so cool and in touch.
You seem to have struck a chord wih your wedding sentiments, and I wonder if it's your over exposure to the blessed events that produce your malaise and indifference.
I haven't attended a wedding since Eriny's! And perhaps my persepctive is tempered by the fact that I've only ever attended weddings for those with which I am deeply, emotionally entwined. I find myself to be inevitably and profoundly stirred by the events, especially now that I am on the other side of the wedding aisle, if you will.
I find myself wordless and tongue-tied to express the gravity, the challenges, the excess and joy that stand before a newly bound couple. And I revel in the memories that swirl like aged wine in a glass from a lifetime of bittersweet happiness and wrenching pain.
I have been so taken with absorbing every moment and living it to fullness; life slips away too quickly to burn time, kill time, pass the time.
Every moment is so vivid in it's hastiness to escape our grasp.
I have watched you learn to gracefully capture the moments in your life and really appreciate them in all their fickle exasperations.
You are extraordinary.