Today is Wilder's first birthday! Woah, that came outta nowhere. Look how little he is here:
Now he's a big boy testing out carseats!
He was one of many born that day, but for us, an artsy fartsy (clueless) couple in Ta-town, he was our awakening, our transformation. The culmination of all our right decisions in life.
One may freak knowing the capacities of a child's brain, the synapses that form and touch thousands of times a day. How a kiss, a "hurray!", fuel the growing organ that is his mind, and how the negative counterparts do just the opposite.
What a hard and mighty calling it is to parent, with rewards my heart can't pen--where I feel whole and not so whole simultaneously. Whole because Wilder makes our family. Fills my heart to overflowing. Not so whole because I yearn for wisdom and grace as I guide him. Not so whole because I need to ensure he has no doubts that we love him. I need to reiterate these words, so he knows...
You are the one and only ever you.
When I'm feeling low, I speak the above phrase (and believe it for my own person). It's from one of Wilder's books, On the Night You Were Born, by Nancy Tillman. It is my most favorite of his (I cried the first time I read it).
My beautiful angel, Wilder Raine:
Thank you for being the blessing you are. You are so, so special, and God made you wonderfully! You can do anything in the whole, wide world that you want to do. I am proud of you and have always wanted you. Thank you for your patience as I learn to be your mommy. When you were born, so was a mother.
Happy first Birthday! I love you!