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Feb 24, 2010

The scent of nilla wafers

Wilder has this lovely perfect spot that I kiss obsessively...the nape of his neck where wafts of nilla wafers and baby wash linger. I trimmed his hair a little, since he was looking shaggy and being called a girl, so now the curls aren't as long at his nape. Nonetheless it is this precious place that I have best access to while reading to him. I kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss it. I remember Momma doing that with us girls...
This morning he was entertaining himself while I prepared for lunch...a bit of a rarity as he prefers to be with me at all times. He was playing with his barn set, looking down at the animals. And there was his nape. His cute, cut hair, his dirty orange cast.
These are the moments that take my breath away--that reprieve from the "going bonkers" state. Could he really be mine? He really is mine. Will I be able to handle the years ahead when I can't protect him, when we will inevitably hurt each others' feelings, and when his feelings will be hurt by others?
The orange cast is a reminder that all I want, more than anything in the whole world, is for him to be safe, healthy, happy, and at peace. Something as small as a cast is enough to break my heart. I said to Shawn, "babe, all I want to do is protect him. There's so much out there that could potentially hurt him. Someday it will, and there won't be anything we can do." He responded, "well, we can try {to protect him} for a little while, can't we?"

Yes, Babe. We can try. If only for a little while.

Until then, my mommy mantra to "make today Wilder's best day ever," seems to be working just fine.
~

5 comments:

Kate said...

Oh, you got me AGAIN Mindy Harris!! I think it just gets me, that as the mom of boys, I'm gonna have to let them go in a way a mom of a daughter doesn't have to. Does that make sense? and it breaks my heart to think about it! :(

Weza said...

You just shot me back to when my boy was little, how I loved to kiss that same spot. Gosh now I am tearing up. He is all grown up now, living in another country. I miss him.

Tami said...

That is really inspiring!! You did a wonderful job on his hair! It looks wonderful, and I'm glad he still has his curls.

Jenna said...

Yes, great job on his hair! Love the burp cloth on his changing table :)
You expressed exactly how I'm feeling these first two weeks of my son's birth - how will I protect him? Will I be able to stand the pain in my heart when someone teases him? Thank goodness we have God we can go to and He will carry our burdens.

Jenna said...

Mindy, I'm re-commenting to let you know I've reflected on your post many times the past few days. Thank you for reminding me to make each day the greatest possible for myself and those around me. What a charge - to think of making each day with William his best day ever! You are such an encourager.