Brown as a turd

I flurried past the mirror after using the restroom, and thought, wow I look ridiculous. Why can't I just be happy with the color God made me?
There was a Groupon for spray tanning and it came at the perfect time; I went and shed most of my outfit (embarrassing) in front of a stranger so she could spray me. Last night I worked on highlighting my hair for 2 hours (but the color only cost $7 and my haircut cost $11).

I know what you're thinking about the tan: it's winter, Mindy, what are you talking about? I don't know, peeps! Guess I want to look okay in a dress for New Year's? Makes no sense because there's no "Pretty Police" here. That I know of.
I covet the day that I will be 100% comfortable with the body God gave me. Just this summer I wriggled into a "momsuit" for the first time in years so I could swim with my babies. I also only have one wedding photo up and am about to take it down; someone saw it and asked, who's that? pointing to me, and it's hurt ever since. When I tell people all the "work I want done" (tummy tuck, spider veins "removed"...) they pshaw me over and over. And I know they're right. But I don't know they're right.

Like really know.

Approaching my 30th year of life brings many things to the surface, namely, how I'm not as thin or energized as I was in college. Or how I really can't tell high school girls from college girls now. They all look the same. Or how I don't like pop music any more and prefer Praise & Worship or Oldies on the radio...Flamenco on Pandora. Or how I secretly gravitate toward the misses section at JCPenney a little more and more every day. The juniors section stuff is too small and not my taste.

I pray the Lord will continue to mold and change me; that I will be a flexible subject for Him to work with. That He will use my hands and feet to be His hands and feet. That He will cultivate my passion for people into many extraordinary divine appointments. These things trump spray tans and pretty makeup.

Lastly, I'm anxious to learn what positive self-talk you use when you are feeling less than confident. Even though it's really hard for me to keep New Year's resolutions, I'm going to focus on the inner and outer traits I treasure about myself, and celebrate them in 2011. Praise the Lord that He made me fearfully and wonderfully. He did that.

I've got a daughter to raise. It's time to buck up.

(thank you for this safe place to share one of my struggles;

it is a big deal for me to post no-makeup photos;
although I'm doing better about not wearing makeup everyday~I don't have time!)

Mini celebration

The weekend before Christmas we hosted some of Shawn's family that we rarely get to see since they live a ways away.
It was a low-key gathering and I didn't even need to cook (how do you do that?). Aunt Andrea brought the fixings for taco salad. I always like it when she cooks because she uses free-range local meat and all-natural foods. I swear stuff tastes better that way. She also made these cookies (indeed on my top three list). They are must, year-round. So stock up on pumpkin.

Wilder was enamored by his cousins, The Big Boys.
Story bonded with Aunt Andrea. One of these days StoryGirl might go missing because Andrea couldn't help herself.
Papa and G'ma got their "fix":
And helped the babies unwrap gifts. Though we can't see G'ma's face in the picture, I had to include it to show the bonding between the kids. They love the handmade blankie.
And it may or may not be on my bed right now.

Story's Christmas outfit

Story is on a napping kick so I am blogging during the day! Not at night when my mind is dead and I have a headache and am stressed about the house.

I've been so excited to show you the little outfit I "made" for Story to wear for Christmas.

I bought an ugly onesie at Walmart for $2.50, and fabric at Hobby Lobby for $.75.
My friend let me re-vamp her daughter's tulle dress into a skirt.
I hand-stitched the shirt with the fabric, felt, and a jingle bell, and tried to make it look "messy."

The outfit was a hit with the guys. Here they are trying to get Story's boogies, which she hates.
The outfit took more time to sew than I had but I wanted her to have something special to wear.
She's a very special girl.

~

Back from travels!

We are back from Mommy and Daddy's. A splendid time was had by all.

I didn't want to leave as I had lots of nice naps. And, okay, I'll miss everyone. We even got to go to church where I was raised...many memories at that church. A joy to bring the children & I caught up with a former teacher who's promised to visit.

Now it's time to clean up and enjoy Shawn's week off. Time for our own Christmas traditions. I smell cookies on the horizon.

One mess at a time, though.

~

Merry Christmas!

From our home and hearts to yours, Merry Christmas!

First Watch

So that brunch/reunion we were one day early for did indeed happen.
This morning. Not yesterday. Today is the 23rd, right? Man, I'm still mixed up.
Now we're at a our second holiday destination; Wilder peed on a dirt road off the highway. That kid is pretty adaptable.

Hope you're relishing time with loved ones and filling your tummies with all the best treats!
Searchin' for that mistletoe,
Mindy

Oops

We are spending a couple days with friends in one of our favorite towns.

We came a day early.

On accident.

That is how frazzled and stressed out I have been. With Shawn being out of town so much we got royally mixed up on when our brunch with college friends was going to be.

I spent since kindergarten getting the kids and I loaded up (with stuff for ALL our Christmases) to meet up with Shawn, and I wasn't going to go back home part-way into the trip. Shawn called me while I was driving and said, "did you know we are a day off?"

Fortunately, our friends have forgiven us. We feel just awful intruding at such a busy time of year. We will be forever indebted to them. Somehow the friendship bread I brought for them seems no longer a sufficient gift.

I love their apartment. I posted pictures of their prior apartment last year. Here is the place they've relocated to. I LOVE it. Enjoyed their tub complete with candles last night.

Awesome music:

So that's my sweet reminder to double-check your calendars; don't arrive a day early!

Bless our nest

Found the cutest wreath at a craft fair:
I want to start making them. Now that I know how to do felt roses and all. I'm practically a pro. (ha)
It just needs a ribbon for hanging. And for me to decide where to hang it.

I can think of one bloggy friend who would really like it!

~

Leaf fun

Our winter has been so. mild. I rejoice. I am not a winter person.

It was 60 degrees today!

Wilder got to play in the leaves (we have had zero time to rake) this weekend:
He is making a baby face here:

Do you see Wilder's hat?
(a very boring picture otherwise. heh.)

Very happy inside

Even though we only had 3.6 seconds cuddling together today, and I swear even then our hearts beat in rhythm, you remain my true love and I'll never lose my obsession with you.

Words are so
inadequate to
express the overwhelming
sense of feelings
I have
for you
I feel excited
and elated
I feel strong
and confident
I feel stable
and warm
Though I can't really
explain how
I feel
I do know that
I am very happy
inside
Thank you.
~Susan Polis Schutz

keepin' it real

In case you think I have it all together, I don't.

Here's proof:

Shawn was in L.A. for a few days this last week (his third trip, oh my) and I definitely started losing momentum with the kids. We had a fantastic/exhausting week, but by the time he was home yesterday I was ready to just sleep, sleep, sleep.

That is my fantasy.

To, someday, go on a trip NOWHERE FUN so that I will be forced to lie in bed in the hotel and watch HGTV and take long baths (after disinfecting the tub myself)...all of this with Shawn, of course.

I have great ambitions in the kitchen department: cutout sugar cookies, friendship bread, and punkin bread, but, folks, it just may not happen. I even have red saran wrap for the goodies. See, I'm all prepared, but have lost all motivation.

I did a silly thing by going to Ace Hardware, Wal-Mart, and Hobby Lobby today. The Saturday before Christmas. Duhh...what was I thinking? Just get in, get what you need, then get out was my mantra. Too bad it didn't work.

Perhaps Story is teething or just tired of being congested, but she has been very fussy the past two days. I get bent out of shape because she never fusses. So I don't really know what to do when she does. And potty training is going so well that Wilder doesn't want to get off the potty, even when it's bedtime. I think he's found a way to stall.

Lastly, I can't decide which pictures, by Ian Johnson, to order. Here's just a handful of what I've to choose from.

Poor W got so tired of cooperating. I love Story (Sissy) in it, though. The hairband makes her ears stick out and she's making a silly, adorb face.
Sibling love. We tried to get a good shot.

Goodnight from this tired, indecisive momma.

Where I'm at

I am still here! I promise.

And the to-do list from last week is still the same size.

Maybe even a bit bigger. I am not motivated to complete everything. Most of the time my head is barely floating above water with the laundry, dishes, picking up, errands, laundry...did I mention laundry?...just a wee bit tired and I want so badly to read, read, read. I am following this blog which is encouraging me to read my Bible everyday in December. It has been a sweet time in the Word. It's so awesome to have His words running through my heart and head when the day gets rough.

This verse in particular has been speaking to me. It tells us both what we are to delight in and what God delights in--this makes sense because they are/should be the same. It is also a reminder to not rely on my own strength, but to put all my energies on not only knowing, but understanding the Lord. There is so much about Him that I don't understand but I firmly believe He will reveal unknowns to me in His perfect timing. Furthermore, I am reminded that I am not to delight in riches...it is so hard sometimes not to want this or that, to follow the current clothing trend or have the latest technological toy, or heck, even a cleaning lady. My delight should not be there. Period.

Thus says the Lord:
"Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness,
judgment, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight," says the Lord.

~Jeremiah 9:23

On a completely unrelated note:
My beautiful WildMan is a big boy pottier now! It is nice to not have to do his diapees anymore. He gets pennies instead of candy. Works best for us.
I chiseled out time to whip up a batch of homemade laundry detergent and package it for gifts:
And tonight, I may or may not have eaten this entire bowl of carmeley chocolatey/cinnamoney popcorn. The bowl is much shallower than it appears.

Ish.
Goodnight from all of us!

(though picture is blurry, it's still cute and especially shows off Wilder's killer, uh, smile?)