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Mar 21, 2012

WIWW and How to Cope When Your Spouse is Traveling

Shawn was in Austin aaaallll last week.
He is gone again, aaallll this week.
I miss him.
Profusely.
Muchly.
Intensely.

I thought I was an independent "woman of today."
Now I'm not so sure. When Shawn's gone, I realize just how much I rely on him.
He is so good about giving me breaks.
I don't do the whole single parenting thing very well.
My babies are so SO good most of the time, so, it's not really them (okay maybe the 24/7 of it is exhausting). But it's also that feeling of being in charge. Like in charge, in charge. Of all those things I leave for Shawn to worry about, like locking up when it's time for bed or taking the trash to the curb.And I'm able to fall into a deep sleep (unless it's one of those nights I have insomnia) knowing someone else can go into ninja mode if there's a break-in. Not that I wouldn't bust out some mama bear moves.

Shawn doesn't travel super often, but when he does it always seems to be back to back, or at Christmastime. Or when I'm really pregnant or someone is sick or a car is broken down. Just never a convenient time.

Want to know how we cope when Daddy's away?
Here are some things that work/have worked for us; they are merely suggestions and are obviously "tweakable" based on your circumstances (they are written with stay-home moms in mind since that's what I am).MY LIST:

1) Schedule a full week; you and the kids will be too busy to notice Pops is gone!
2) Do your meal planning and grocery shopping before Pops is gone.
3) Accept help when it's offered; if a friend invites you over for dinner, say yes.4) Once the kids are in bed, do projects you wouldn't normally tend to, or watch those chick flicks your hubbie doesn't want to see; busy yourself so you don't hear the house creaking or weird neighborhood noise.
5) Think of something sweet to do for, or give to, your spouse upon his return (has pantry disorganization been driving him mad? then get it organized); the kiddos can make a cute craft just for him.6) Too tired for bath night? Let the kids go an extra day without bathing. That's what baby wipes are for. Be okay with skipping some of the daily rituals. It's ok to be in survival mode.
7) If possible, keep the kids in contact with Daddy while he is gone. Reassure them that he will be back.8) Plan a special outing, like a picnic at the park, trip to the zoo or children's museum.9) Though I don't condone this, it helps us: let the kids watch Sesame Street/etc TWICE during the day! (usually I just do it during breakfast but will occasionally bust it out during the "witching hours" close to bedtime)
10) Consider a road trip of your own to the grandparent's or another relative's/friend's house for 1-2 days. The change in routine/scenery could be exciting and just what you need.What do you do when you're short your other half?
*******
military wives, single parents, parents whose spouse works odd shifts or multiple jobs: I.Commend.You.
***
Linking up with the Pleated Poppy.
Outfit from Target.
Locket: a gift, Rings: vintage; Clutch: Joyn
Headband: made by me
Photos by Emily Bergquist

17 comments:

Leigh-Ellen said...

I love this post and the photos but I really really love the random guy at his computer in those first shots.

A Modern Hippie said...

Great post. Were you at the donut hole. I so miss that place!

As you know, I'm used to being home alone. Of course I just have myself and my plants to take care of so nothing like having kids to handle! I have to confess (shhhh, dont tell B) that I love when he is away for a short time, NOT a long time like deployments. I enjoy cooking meals I love and he hates, having the tv to myself, having a quiet house to keep clean all by myself, and just having some me time. I'm used to handling things on my own and making decisions without him so it isnt horrible while he is away. I am VERY independent so I guess that is why I married a military man:) I'm sure once we have kids I will not like having him gone as much! Good luck the rest of the week. Skype me if you need adult convo:)

Michelle said...

Excellent post! Where are you at - The Donut Hole? I've still never been there!

Miriam said...

Oh my goodness, I love everything about this outfit! (Especially the tights. And your hair.) You're super cute, sister! So are your kiddos. :)

kaylee@life chasers said...

GREAT post! Mine will be gone for two weeks soon and this is so perfect. I hate when he is gone. Praying for you!

Lora said...

It's just me and the baby, so we head to my parents house. We live in the country, so I don't stay home alone :) Whenever we add more kiddos, this may not work, but for today, I'm sane.

Quentin and Amy Ellis said...

omg girlie...you are just too cute!!! Love love love the pics....you look gorgeous as usual...and I have to say..Wilder is looking quite handsome in his picture!!! xoxo

alishamcclure said...

your hair is WONDERFUL!!! I love your outfit...your sense of style is so perfect!!!!!

The Boccias said...

Such cute pics! This was timely as N is leaving for 2 days next week and I am feeling heavily pregnant. :) so glad he won't be gone a whole week!

Ami said...

i loved all these pictures Mindy!

my hubby travels from time to time for his music gigs.. in fact, he's traveling next week and two weeks after that.. i miss him wayyy too much when he's gone.. so what i usually do is hang out with my friends and keep my self busy! a lot of times i invite a bunch of friends over for a dinner/drinks (mostly girl friends) and talk forever! because i would feel bad doing that when he's around! hehe.

P.S. come by my blog for a Boy Meets Girl® giveaway!
http://thesmallesthappiestthings.blogspot.com/2012/03/boy-meets-girl-tights-giveaway.html

seltzermint said...

We're CFBC so for me it usually means a girls' night out or two, dinner of supermarket sushi, and the odd DVD rental for after-work downtime.

However, I do the homey extra bit of cleaning and something extra special for dinner when he returns :-) And I DO relate to the feeling of slight vulnerability at night. I lived alone for years and still enjoy doing those little "take charge" duties (I usually lock up, I usually take out the trash, etc) but it's weird to realize how much safer I feel when there's a big strong man sleeping nearby!

katygirl said...

Scott rarely leavesbut I get super scared when he does.

Also....sesame street twice a day is no big deal.

Sandy a la Mode said...

me and my hubby used to travel all the time.. and never on the same week!! but that has changed now so i'm thankful for that! don't know how i'd care for little ones w/ him being gone, so tough!

goddessof4 said...

Very cute outfit!!!! I especially love the tights!!!!!!

Julie said...

I'm proud of you this week!! And BEAUTIFUL pics.

Drea said...

I love how that older man is just sitting there beside you look all modelish :) - cute outfit!! im one to stay busy when my husband is away too. But I get a lot done too! way more than I could ever get done with him here.. weird how that works...

Natalia Lynn said...

Girl I do the single parent thing all the time! My husband is a basketball player and is gone a lot of we are in different countries a lot. I am super independent though, as is he, so it works out! Great tips though, for those who aren't used to it! You look so cute too!