Feeling distant from your spouse? Then DO SOMETHING about it!

A few days ago I mentioned that Shawn and I got to go on a quick overnight trip to Manhattan, KS, home of Kansas State University, our alma mater (me class of 2004, Shawn 2005).
A dear friend was kind enough to keep the kiddos...so she had 2 kids 2 years old, and 2 kids 3 years old, for a little over 24 hours. How's that for numbers? I am so grateful we could go somewhere for a bit and not have to worry about how the kids were fairing. Big shout out to Juls!

Getting that bit of time to trot around town and stay at a fancy bed and breakfast did so much for our marriage. I can't tell you how important it is to prioritize time with your spouse. To do nice things for him, to speak his love language. To take a darn Facebook break and enjoy face-to-face time with the one you have promised to live life with and for.
 We have had challenges in our marriage, which I won't go into here, but suffice it to say that we enjoyed the simplicity of one another's company...the laughter, the dreaming and scheming, holding hands, telling dumb jokes, sharing new experiences, and especially reminiscing of a time in our lives when things were so much, well, easier (though back then I was always sooo stressed about exams and homework!). 

 

We relished driving by the little crummy apartment we called home at the inception of our marriage, as well as wandering past city park where I used to crank out a few miles on foot. And it was certainly surreal to venture onto the campus where we hold memories of learning, growing, making mistakes, having fun, being irresponsible, being challenged...where all those things happened not that long ago.

The town has changed a lot (new apartments/establishments).

 Campus has changed a lot (WWII memorial, chain-roped walkways, power brushed limestone).
WE HAVE CHANGED A LOT. Sometimes, I'd like to go back to that time when things were more carefree. It gives me perspective on where I'm at in life RIGHT NOW. There will be a time when I'll wish I could go back to when the kids were 4 and 2. Back to when we lived in a 1950s blonde brick house on a Leave It to Beaver block--back to when we couldn't afford to keep the grass watered or install nice plants. Being on campus challenged me to be grateful where I am, to soak in every moment, to put my whole heart into the things I care most about (God, Shawn, kids). Because someday, I'll be somewhere completely different, doing just that same reminiscing with my sweetheart.

This was the second time Shawn and I had gone back to Manhattan for an anniversary. We stayed at the same B & B with the same delightful host and the same awesome amenities (jetted tub! That is a treat to us!). 
 You know, we didn't have the money, and when we got there we couldn't spend much. Also, it took some crazy orchestrating to get childcare to work. But you know what?

Our marriage is worth all that "trouble."

Getting to make new memories with Shawn, while old ones whirled around us, will be something I'll always treasure about our 9-year anniversary.

We may not be going to Hawaii or Europe for our 10-year...those exotic places will probably be for when we are closer to retirement.

But that's okay!

I love my man, I love what he does for our family. I love that together we receive Christ's forgiveness and claim that grace for our relationship.

I am sad I have been so selfish in our marriage for so long; both of us have missed out on gobs of goodness because of that.

This little trip away gave me so much joy that wonderful things are yet to come.

I know that despite my shortcomings, I'm loved and that I have a partner for life.

Come rain or shine.